7. Public + messages to David & Iris

[exnihilo]

[Private to David 8]

I wasn't any different there. That I could tell.



[Public, voice]

How many people have you been? How many people have you pretended to be?

[She's not sure where exactly the distinction is between these things.]

You may estimate.



[Private to Iris]

I'd like to be allowed in the labs. I've been researching hydroponics.

Comments

[exnihilo]

What's being a lawman like?

[This interests her; of the three, this is something she knows almost nothing about. The others are familiar, require less discussion.]

[characterdefect]

It's a good job. A good life. You get to protect people who need protecting if you're good at it, which I was.

It's a good disguise, too, but for me it wasn't just that. It gets you respect.

[exnihilo]

It's different. Being respected for something that isn't all disguise.

[It doesn't sound like a question, but it is.]

[characterdefect]

Yes.

[He answers without hesitation.]

I liked that time. It was solid. It felt real, almost as real as killing.

People talk a lot about being part of a community. I found out what that meant. It was similar to having family. Not quite the same, but similar.

[exnihilo]

[Hunger.]

Was it the respect that felt real, or the protection? Or both?

[characterdefect]

Both. It was both.

But protection you can get from other people. Respect you can only get by working at it yourself. At least that's my experience. So that - I guess that was more valuable to me, because I earned it.

[exnihilo]

I meant - you, protecting people.

It sounds like something that would matter, the way killing does.

[Life and death.]

[characterdefect]

It's the realest thing I've ever done. It mattered more than anything.

The people I protected the hardest were family. But I think everyone with found family does that. It doesn't make me unusual.